This is my 50th post.
Can just girls kweef?
First things first. Here's me after Shamrock 2009 (Va. Beach)...
I am on the right with the aluminum foil around my body. (I thought that was cool.) My dear friend Dawn (who has PR'd her second or third half marathon) is holding me up. In more ways than one. Dang, what a day. Tough like I've never experienced. My spirit won out but not after a nail-scratching, tearful fight. Not to bore you with the details but at mile 12 my calf failed me, at mile 22 I have NEVER been so miserable. Never. At mile 25 I saw my family with the 'Mom's the Bomb' sign I was born again. At mile 26.2 I cried because I saw the clock and because it was over. Joy. Disappointment. Relief. Joy. I will forever remember this date (3/21) because this girl who's always ached to move and dance with joy found the spirit of an athlete deep inside. My stats just are what they are. No excuses. Eight months later, I came back and cut almost an HOUR off my time. My happier marathon, with the clock and finish in sight. Now that's what I'm talking 'bout!
And now. This is my 50th post. BFD, you say and really I agree. But I like benchmarks, landmarks, and places to hang my hat. To celebrate I am giving away three items in a care package. Some of you who have visited ownyourbackbone before, know I love all things running, Yoga and references to the obscene. AND I LIKE TO PLEASE EVERYONE. A curse, but it's here so what the hay?
1.) Book. Brain Training for Runners, By Matt Fitzgerald. I have two copies, I'll give you the new one. I swear.
2.) Packet of Smudge . Actually dried sage wrapped and bound like a faggot (for the faint of heart, a faggot is also a bundle of sticks) Look it up. This is to signify my love of the spiritual side of things. It is used by the ancients and native Amercans to cleanse and purify.
3.) If you aren't into running,Yoga or smoking herbs this will please you. A SUPER-SIZED BAG OF JELLY BEANS. Now that's what I'm talking 'bout.
All you have to do to win this booty is...
Follow me. (1 entry)
For you 22 faithful, just comment as many times as you'd like (1 entry per comment).
Comment and become a new follower. That makes 2.
Link me to your site. (1 entry)
I will have one of my children randomly select the winner.
And now, the best (content) for last. Can just girls kweef?
My son asked me last night what a kweef was so, AS USUAL I go into a long explanation about how its slang and dirty and has to do with body functions and air traveling through holes. I use all the technical terms and we determine that only girls can kweef since it's (in 2 words or less which is a huge challenge) A FRONTAL FART. After I tell him if he uses the term I'll take his cell phone, I looked it up. Turns out it's just a silent but violent one that gets caught up front no matter what you have packing. The slightest move releases it and anyone nearby is in danger.
Son, I was wrong. I'm okay with that. I once ran a 5+ hour marathon after training my ass off. It's been a year now but I'm okay with that. Just so you know, I have NEVER kweefed. But I love to smudge.... (hmmmmmmm)
Help me celebrate Shamrock 2009, my 50th rambling, and body parts/functions that unite us one and all. Say something to me so I can then respond "Now that's what I'm talking 'bout." And it'll make sense. Sort of.
Have you ever kweefed? Out.
1.) Book. Brain Training for Runners, By Matt Fitzgerald. I have two copies, I'll give you the new one. I swear.
2.) Packet of Smudge . Actually dried sage wrapped and bound like a faggot (for the faint of heart, a faggot is also a bundle of sticks) Look it up. This is to signify my love of the spiritual side of things. It is used by the ancients and native Amercans to cleanse and purify.
3.) If you aren't into running,Yoga or smoking herbs this will please you. A SUPER-SIZED BAG OF JELLY BEANS. Now that's what I'm talking 'bout.
All you have to do to win this booty is...
Follow me. (1 entry)
For you 22 faithful, just comment as many times as you'd like (1 entry per comment).
Comment and become a new follower. That makes 2.
Link me to your site. (1 entry)
I will have one of my children randomly select the winner.
And now, the best (content) for last. Can just girls kweef?
My son asked me last night what a kweef was so, AS USUAL I go into a long explanation about how its slang and dirty and has to do with body functions and air traveling through holes. I use all the technical terms and we determine that only girls can kweef since it's (in 2 words or less which is a huge challenge) A FRONTAL FART. After I tell him if he uses the term I'll take his cell phone, I looked it up. Turns out it's just a silent but violent one that gets caught up front no matter what you have packing. The slightest move releases it and anyone nearby is in danger.
Son, I was wrong. I'm okay with that. I once ran a 5+ hour marathon after training my ass off. It's been a year now but I'm okay with that. Just so you know, I have NEVER kweefed. But I love to smudge.... (hmmmmmmm)
Help me celebrate Shamrock 2009, my 50th rambling, and body parts/functions that unite us one and all. Say something to me so I can then respond "Now that's what I'm talking 'bout." And it'll make sense. Sort of.
Have you ever kweefed? Out.
8 comments:
LIAR. You have too queefed. And I know it. Consider me entered for a faggot of smudge.
She stole my line :) I plan on sending a few comments at random times so that I increase my chances of winning.
Oh and I'll post it on my blog :)
comment 2!
I'm back and I want to win :)
comment 3!
I have. But it's been a while. Why more air there when I was younger???
You know I follow you.
Wonder where the name came from?
Who decides "fart"? or "queef"? we used to call them a 'different' *ahem* fart.
...oh and I follow you.
you knew that.
but it's fun filling your comment box.
Very interesting this queef concept :)
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