Friday, June 18, 2010

Fat dancers

I love to dance but am not built like a ballerina.  I should have been a pole dancer.  Here's me at 16...  I'm too fat to be a real ballerina so they cast me as Arabian coffee addict. ( Act II Divertissement:  Nutcracker). 

 If pole dancing were okay for virgins at a Catholic High School for girls I'd have been all over it.  Instead I spent years playing roles like the tart,  a man, the Princess Mother, a big-boobed member of the corps de ballet in most classic productions (Swan Lake, Waltz of the Flowers, La Bayadere, - you get the picture.)  Very occasionally I got a solo because I could move and the skinny dancers couldn't make the quick change.  I was trying so hard to be something I'm not:  Long and lithe.  But a dancer:  I am.  I'll never forget going to the soda machine for a drink during rehearsal one time (I know it's an oxymoron - like a nurse on a smoke break.) and the Director says:

"Clair, I hope that's diet." 
It wasn't.

Now, I wasn't grow-to-the-couch huge just curvy and as my beloved Mother would say "Earthy" and "Perfectly Proportioned"  (Whatever that means.)  I was not created for point shoes but tap shoes, that's a whole other story.  Instead of chasing my groove-on and the bass and the attitude which came naturally, I lurched for the tiara of the Sugar Plum Fairy - that sweet petite, airy creature who made people cry in a good way.  It was not to be.  She is not me.

Fast forward 25 years.  I run to keep my weight down and because I love The Race.  I teach exercise classes because I love The Performance and the wellness and the People.  I practice Yoga simply because I love The Life.  I dance every chance I get because I am.   

Hmmm..  I hear Pole Dancing is fun and big boobs are an asset instead of a liability. I think she's beautiful

 Be what you are.  Are you?

4 comments:

ShutUpandRun said...

Nice picture of me on the pole.

You will always be my favorite dancer. Screw the diet soda. That director was a dick.

Char said...

That's probably a comment that you'll never forget. My grade 5 teacher once weighed and measured us all for a maths exercise. When he saw my weight he said "Not as heavy as I thought" I wasn't even big! It's a comment I've never forgotten

Prairie Mother said...

I remember a photo of me taken during a cross country match in high school. Next to a skinny runner I looked like a brick shithouse! I don't have a runners build but I can hold my own. I practice yoga but I'm definitely not a super bendy yogi. hey, that's all okay cuz i'm happy with me just the way I am! Dance on girl! Luv the blog!

Anne said...

Erase that brainless comment from your mind...you are a beautiful and graceful woman! I read back a few posts (catching up) and I think there's a lot of great in you! :)