Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Perfect Night

For a few minutes this evening, I had the Perfect Night.  I had just returned from teaching a Yoga class at the Y and my house was empty. Perfection.   It is rare that I am in my home alone.  I crave solitude in the space where I live because most of the time the 3 children, 4 animals, 1 husband and my neurosis make a lot of noise and take up a lot of space.  Not tonight. 

Peace invoked.  Check.  (Om Shanti!)
Wine poured.  Check.  (Om Shanti, Shanti!)
Silly Lifetime Drama on boob tube.  Check.  (Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti!)

Amidst my PMS, frustration over the state of laundry, and my martyrdom (I am the only one who cares about our surroundings, blah, blah, blah) - I found bliss.  Why? I wonder.   I know why.

I AM PREGNANT.  WITH HOPE.  Hope for long lasting peace and contentedness.  Hope for a deeper daily connection with The Divine.  I rubbed my belly and was lit up with the moment.  The only thing we have.  The only thing that's real.  I'm naming her Hope.  Mary must have had The Perfect Night too.  She was truly pregnant with our Hope.  She was not drinking Pinot Grigio, I suspect but having a baby in a barn may have led her to. 

I'm happy because I don't live or birth baby's in a barn.  Thank you!!
I did birth these nuggets and I am so pregnant with hope for them.

I don't even notice the dirty unmatched socks on the kitchen floor.  It was the Perfect Night.  In honor the the Perfect Night of over 2000 years ago, I think I'll do a camel.  (I'm sure there was one nearby.)

My dog loves me!

What are you pregnant with?

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Baby Got Back! Mary #2 Review

Having a hissy fit?  Do the Yoga.
Feeling fat?  Do the Yoga
DePuffing?  Do the Yoga.
Even you bony-ass skinny people, Do the Yoga. 

She sang my song yesterday.  All. Day. Long.  The Mary Jarvis Event did not disappoint.  Though it was not much different than the workshop I attended in Annapolis, I still couldn't get enough.  Even after seconds.  I'm still hungry for the Yoga.  The heat. The community and the love.

Mary sprinkled the class and posture clinic with anecdotes and philosophy and bits from her life - one you felt you'd shared for much longer than 90 minutes.  Or wish you had.  She inspired me to be a kinder more compassionate person and convinced me that backbends would help.  I know it to be so.  There are clinical studies that prove the physiological benefits of backward bending.  I have started and stopped a regimen of backbending a number of times.  Starting 12/5 I am going to do 10 backbends a day for 10 days and document my experience. 

Yoga is for everybody.  It makes you nicer.  It definitely makes you healthier and it might save your marriage or your life.  It is accessible all the time.  Hopefully I'll feel as inspired tomorrow when I need to bend over backwards literally and just because.

Today was a perfect day.  I spent it with her:

Mass.  Lunch.  New Yoga Studio Tour. Running in to a dear friend whom I love (hi, Laura!).  Pottery studio for ornament painting.  Moving renting/watching.  Dinner.  Hanging out at home alone.  The rest of the family was otherwise occupied for the entire day. We took full advantage of our one on one.  I love this little muffin with and without the backbends.  If backbending makes it better, it's much, much more than I deserve!

Thank you for all my many blessings.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Mary-Mary, Damn Ugly and 9

Today I am going to my second once in a life-time opportunity to work with Mary Jarvis of Bikram Yoga fame.  Almost two years ago I attended a MJ (not the crooner whom we know I love) workshop in Annapolis, MD. 

One of my favorite quotes from that day was:

"It smells like a cat box in here (the 107 degree room) because we expect you to leave your shit in it."

I can't wait for today's pearls of wisdom which I will surely share.  Here's my new outfit for the occasion.:
I don't love it.  I am usually very choosy about my yoga threads but this was at Dick's, on sale and I was in a hurry.  I don't know why I care because we will be sandwiched in a room with inches between mats and dodging body parts as we move through poses.  It will be fun and rigorous and entertaining and life-change like Mary #1 in Maryland.  But it won't be pretty. 

Feeling pretty has evaded my 11-year-old daughter of late and it makes me sad.  Here's Wednesday night:

Kathleen:  Mom, why am I not pretty?

Me:  (sympathetic and so sorry she knows not what I see in her)  Honey, I can't talk you out of this feeling.  It's normal at your age to have your groove on one day and then feel ugly the next.  One day you'll feel more balanced but you always need to feel pretty inside and out.

Kathleen:  But I'm not.

Me:  (trying to convince her otherwise) Oh, honey.  Yes you are.  You have no idea.  It's normal to feel awkward sometimes at your age but don't let this feeling get out of hand.  Let's keep talking about it when it comes over you.  Just have faith in all your gifts inside and out.

Kathleen:  But I'm not pretty.

Me:  (Getting impatient)  Remember that time Bridget's Mom said you had this intense beauty that she couldn't describe?  She's not even related and said that out of the blue.

Kathleen:  Kinda.  But why am I ugly?


Now that's a pearl of wisdom.  What a good mother I am.

And now for 9.  I don't feel pretty either because 9 is the number of pounds I have gained since my last Mary Jarvis workshop.  Not a good thing for someone with a lifelong body image problem.  No matter what people say I feel damn ugly lugging that 9 around.  I know how my daughter feels...

My lesson:  Find your own sweet spot of gratitude and confidence, be patient and only listen to other people with it uplifts you.  Otherwise it belongs in the cat box located in the hot room where I am shortly headed.

Hey maybe I will leave my 9 in there. Look out 9! You. Are. Going. Down.

What's  your pearl of wisom?