Monday, August 30, 2010

Winner and I want a new body

I love Mollie and Carlee Berry. Mollie eats frosting from the tub.  (Duh!, who doesn't?) She goes the extra mile and adds peanut butter.  Love the rawness of it all.  Carlee Berry looks so happy with cute Mike.  She makes me want to feel young and cool.  Surely my young coolness is somewhere in here.  Besides these unique tidbits that make their blogs fun and compelling, they made me feel loved.  Thanks, ladies.  You did a good thing by commenting on my blog.   I have to spread the love to Kassi, however - my winner.  She ran 2 miles and is working her way up to a 10k and I know she'll do it.  I love to see the enthusiasm and shine from a new goal.  Tenacity and persistence and stick-to-itiveness.  They deserve $40 and much much more.  We all wish you well, Kassi.  Send me your email address and I'll hook you up with the folks at CSN.  Enjoy that Dutch Oven!

And now...
I want a new body.  Surely, you are tired of hearing about my hamstring/hind quarters issues after my ill-advised Party Yoga trick.  I ran 4 measly miles on Friday and I didn't even recognize myself.  I felt like I had no stability in my hip joints and that I might buckle at any moment.  I did not feel weak or hungry or especially hot - just not in my own body.  I couldn't believe I ran 26.2 miles twice in six months and 13.1 miles 4 times in the same year while teaching exercise classes at the gym. Who was that girl?  Idid get some relief with use of some gimpy looking black hamstring tape...
It sends some kind of pain relief signal up to your brain to trick it into feeling better.  I can still do most of the things I did before but not nearly like I used to.  The flexibility is coming back, my spine is stronger and I am managing to shuffle out some miles but the pain when I drive is still unbearable.  White-knuckles.  Grit-yer-teeth pain.  Where is the badass I fancied myself?  If you knew me then, help me find her.  I want to spank myself for losing my groove on.  Dawg gone it.

Return to center.  Return to Yoga.  It cures a lot.  Just taking it's time with my poor aching butt.  Recognize what is and let it go.  A celebration of the present, whatever it may be.  Change your mind.  Change your life.  I'm getting all greased up here.  Get out of the way of your own ass and live, baby live. Without judgement but with frosting and 10k's and goals and love and support.  And peanut butter.  Everything's better with a little peanut butter.  Where do you put yours.

Completely unrelated to my assinine problems...

You gotta love a seven year old who sleeps with a eye mask.  Now that's a good morning.  My peanut butter pumpkin with frosting on top.  Love to you all....

Yoga Championships coming soon. next up:  my training for life altering asana.  Thanks, Garland for Directing us.  We love you!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Fo shizzell!

Do you like free extensions
Fo shizzle my nizzle - Slang for "for sure, homey".  Though most people attribute it to Snoop Dogg, fo shizzle can be traced back originally to E-40 from Vallejo, California. Bay Area.
If you've never visited the urban dictionary.  Do it.  Especially if you have offspring even close to puberty.  Mostly its funny.  Can be disturbing. But it's reality. 
Here's where fo shizzle works...
Q:  You ready for the weekend?
A:  Fo shizzle.
Q:  You leave a tip for your favorite barista?
A:  Fo shizzle my nizzle.
Q:  You  want a Dutch Oven?
A:  Fo shizzle. 
Q:  How do I get one?
A:  Blow hard butt wind under the covers several times and build up stench while your old lady is brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed, then when she gets into bed, pull the covers over her head and yell "Dutch Oven" and let her enjoy the stench of your ass gas for at least 30 seconds.  OR
1. Comment (1 entry)
2. Send me your latest AHA! moment from training. (Ex.: a PR on a recreational run. Got your head to your knee, did backbend down a wall, got out of bed without limping) I want good news baby! - (1 entry).
3. Keep us all real. Send me one little confession (clean and comfortable) - You love the smell of gasoline (I do!). You must line labels evenly. You eat cookie dough, run the water while in the restroom. Something that makes you go hmmm.
4. Send a little good energy into the world to someone/something that needs it.  To Amy who's working hard and being an awesome friend.  Or to your sister in gratitude. Or to your parents in heaven because you'll forever be stunned you got them even for a short time. How did I get so lucky? (Quiet entry as many as you like, tell me about or don't but JUST DO IT!)  By Saturday.

Make him proud...

Yeah, dogg.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

$40 GIVEAWAY and huge moment

Even though Mary Jarvis says the Bikram Yoga room stinks because you leave all your stuff in it, please, no Dutch Oven in the hot room!  It's already hot and smelly... in a good way. - kind of like breast milk poop.  I used to love that from my babies - I know I'll regret that little giveaway in the morning.  But not this one:

$40 gift certificate to CSN stores.   Read to the end for details.  

So I went to Bikram Yoga yesterday with my hurt right butt cheek.  I was hesitant because of my bottom but hungry for that sweat and push and focus.  I told my instructor I was nursing a hamstring/piriformis injury and she said "Okay, take it easy."  Another student said:  "She should whip you if you don't step up."  Like "Who do you think you are?" - better make sure the instructor doesn't think  you are slacking. "  How silly am I?  What does she care about my hindquarters?

Everything.  Apparently.  Each word Briah uttered resonated with me and though I was tender with my ham I progressed in almost every pose.  Probably because I wasn't full-throttle and wanting to outdo myself and my neighbor in class.  I had a challenge to consider and everything else settled like the butterfly on my (patio) bush.  Though I was one-sided in triangle and standing head to knee, my full locust was the bomb.  

AHA!  Thank you God, Allah, Jesus, Shiva, the Universe, Love and my ass!  I feel better.  (That's my huge moment.)

Here comes contest for the giveaway...

1.  Comment (1 entry)
2.  Send me your latest AHA! moment from training.  (Ex.:  a PR on a recreational run.  Got your head to your knee,  did backbend down a wall, got out of bed without limping)  I want good news baby! -  (1 entry).
3.  Keep us all real.  Send me one little confession (clean and comfortable) - You love the smell of gasoline (I do!).  You must line labels evenly.  You eat cookie dough, run the water while in the restroom.  Something that makes you go hmmm. 
4.  Send a little good energy into the world to someone/something that needs it.  Like my friend Beth who's traveling to run with Dean in just 2 hours.  Go Beth!  Or to your sister in gratitude.  Or to your parents in heaven because you'll forever be stunned you got them even for a short time.  How did I get so lucky?  (Quiet entry as many as you like, tell me about or don't but JUST DO IT!)

Winner announced August 25!  Everybody needs a little Dutch Oven.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Addicts no more

What would you do for a butt?

On Monday I opened my freezer and saw this:
Frozen mud?  Marinade for another day?  I wouldn't put it past my sauce-creating husband to save his baste like so.   Turns out the girls were trying to make a chocolate bar out of Hersey's syrup.  Not a creative endeavor from some cute workshopie cooking camp.  In my mind, it's a desperate measure by a true sugar addict.  I've become militant and cleaned up our food act. I will never ever purchase another soda and sugar is a treat on a special occasion not a daily entitlement.  It appears my behavior is founded.

They aren't happy:

So I say to my son:
Wow, your sisters are like nicotine addicts searching desperately on the ground in a dark alley for some old cigarette butt hoping there's a puff or two left so they can get their fix.  So don't ever smoke.  What do you think?
A little dramatic. 
After a pause he laughed.
Good one, Mom. 
I was serious.

This is better:
My silly hamstring.  Slow to heal.  Like recovery from sugar addiction.  We'll do it though.  One day at a time.

No miles this week.  Yoga twice and 4 fitness classes to teach at the Y.  I can lead without full-on yowzah.  So I am resting a bit.

What have you changed lately?

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Fire and ice

Three and a half hours like this set my right leg on fire up to my rear end.

I kept my cussing to a minimum.  Thank you for all the great suggestions about propping, icing and doing shots. Surely you've been waiting to see that we all made it home in one piece.  We did.  It was the driving.  I'd go through fire to get to the beach and I did.

To alleviate some of the pain, I sat on a huge pillow and used my cruise control as much as possible.  To be sitting up higher than usual did nothing for my balance, proprioceptors and my fear of bridges/tunnels (another post).  Yoga breath, where are you?

I did not do shots but loved the idea, thank you Beth and Jon.  I did however get 2/3 deep into a bottle of white and it was good.  I sat by the pool with my limb on ice then went to the ocean to watch this and 2 other reasons for withstanding fire...

The next day and the next I hobbled out 4.67 miles and actually felt better which is good because the drive home took nearly 5 hours. 

We had a great time.  Beach, pool, surfing, and seafood.  Nearly heaven.

Only drawback - couple in pool thought they were at Hugh Hefner's.  THIS IS THE HILTON GARDEN INN.  Families and children and mother runners who are soon-to-be Yoga teachers with injured hamstrings are here.  Hello.  There aren't enough shots to withstand that. Put some ice on it.  The could've borrowed some of mine.  Luckily they took their tryst indoors before I got sick. 

Can't wait to do this again...

  That's me with a hair piece.
How was your weekend?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Help! Intense pain coming soon...

It's not Cobra pose but I do have one leg - that works.  I posted earlier about my temporary insanity - sliding to the splits, no hands and no warm up after an 8 mile run.  (At least I didn't have a lamp shade on my head).  I heard a pop in my hamstring and haven't been right since.  I walked slowly with a limp well enough later that day and the next.  I've been to Yoga hot and not 3 times since and have walked several times 3 to 4 miles each.  I am functional. 

I WANT TO CRY WHEN I DRIVE.  My darn one leg hurts like a mofo, a bee-atch, and any other non-cursing supurlatives you want to fill-in. 

I have to drive 3 hours with my 3 kids to the beach later this morning.  Does anyone have any hints on making the drive more comfortable.  I'm going to prop til I drop.  Wiggle, wrap ice, take Alleve,  pray and focus on the road.  If you had any ideas on ways to make this more comfortable, I'd really appreciated it.

Oh, and it's my driving leg.  Son of a split!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

How do you like your Jesus?

I like to picture my Jesus with angel wings singing lead vocals at a Lynard Skynard concert.  And I'm in the front row hammered drunk.

I like to picture my Jesus with a tuxedo tee-shirt.  You, know something kinda formal that says I'm formal but I like to party.
                                                                       --Cal, Jr. Talladega Nights.
It is with great pride that I confess that my 12 year old son can quote Talladega Nights on command and I laugh every time.  It's not Romans 8:12 but it still takes a good memory.

I coulda used some Jesus on Saturday when I pulled my hamstring. 
I was trying to do this:

On this:

 Oh snap.  Loser.

I had run 8 miles with my sister on a beautiful, unspoiled stretch of earth near her gawgus rivah house on the Potomac. I ccelebrated my run, my health and my pursuit of Yoga Teacher certification with a couple of glasses of  pinot grigio.  She started dancing on the picnic table and I will NOT be outdone I tell you.  I started with Warrior I on the bench and then felt called to slide down to the splits with no hands.  I hope no one else heard the snap because then my faking that I was fine would be found out.  I faked not limping.  Sounds like something our buddy Cal, Jr. from TN (above, left) might do.  But

I FOUND JESUS because I called.  Often I don't call Him but He just shows up like over the crest of a huge hill I'm sludging up or at the finish line of every race or in the face of my child or in the fresh veggies the earth births or in every single solitary Yoga class I take or in my dogs, my friends or yes friends cheesy crass humor that tickles me. 

 Jesus, Clair.  Raise your bar.  Just don't do the splits on it.

Lesson learned:  wine and Yoga tricks don't mix.

What have your learned lately?  Peace out.