"It's All Good"
I'm hanging on by my short nails. I refuse to age into unhip nerdiness. I'm trying to understand and use trendy lingo but some of it just isn't cool. Like...
"Peeps" - don't use it unless you speak of neon-colored, sugar-colored marshmellow ducklins' that show up in my children's Easter Baskets.
"Phone tag" - Stupid. That's not a game and it's not fun. It means you either deliberatly return calls when you know your 'friends' are unavailable or your life is too hectic and place too many calls at the wrong time.
"OMG" - If you are going to use an acronym, use SOMF, or MILF, something with substance. If you have to call out to the Lord, Just do it.
"Game on" - On what? TV, your nerves, at 7:00... finish a sentence or go back to 1st grade to learn how.
"Beast" - Something is ferocious. So good it's scary like your daughter's report card or your son's time in the 10K (go Sam!) or that martini you just learned to make.
"Fierce" - Take no prisoners. Growl, perhaps while wearing stilettos. It's descriptive and to the point.
"Sick" - Used to make me sick because I didn't understand how to use it. "Sick" is so cool when my 11-year old talks about hitting a baseball so far it was sick.
Some totally outdated phrases that will have your preteens denying they know you if you used them...
"Gettin' jiggy with it" You children are too young to remember Wil Smith and MIB.
"Z formation" They only do that when they are making fun of you and please, please don't do 2 snaps and a tuuuuurn.
"Talk to the hand" - Only use it if imitating Robin Williams' soliloquy during RV when he confronts the basketball-playing boys from ScottsDALE, the hard-core hood.
As my most excellent mother once said... "Clair, you know I'm not a cuss-ah (translation 'cusser', one who uses profanity'.), but if I was, SHIT would be my favorite word." I agree. I can't keep up with cool words. THAT one is a classic. It's beast. It's fierce. And it's sick.
Peeps, don't try to call me. We'll only play phone tag. OMG, I'm busy practicing my Z-formation and I AM jiggy with it.
Still not released to run. SHIT.
I'll get my game (back) on soon. It's all good.