Sunday, November 22, 2009

Black horse and a cherry tree

Well my heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talking
I came across a place in the middle o' nowhere with a Big black horse and a cherry tree
(woo-hoo-oo,woo-hoo) KT Tunstall

There was this cute as a button girl belting this with the band during the summer of 2007 just outside the 31st Hilton in Virginia Beach. She was sexy and sassy and unafraid. A mere bystander caught in the moment of the gorgeous night, you'd have thought she was soul sister to the band's lead singer. It could've been the margaritas and a dare but I haven't forgotten her show and her guts and hope she did it again and again somewhere. A Pat Benetar or Katie Perry in the making. I just sat and watched her wishing I had her guts and personality. A former dancer who loves a stage and great bass, I could feel my fascia one with hers moving and grinding to the music, waiting for my tipping point so I could jump on that Black Horse with her. I never spoke to her but every time I hear this song I think of the mystery pixie and wish I'd been her soul sister too. A stranger is my inspiration and she doesn't even know it. You and I could be one too. So why didn't I go with the moment and let it rip?
  • My children (9, 7, and 4) needed me. Yeah right. Only a dozen or so other parents THAT I KNEW were nearby and could've taken watch for 3 minutes.

  • Business associates were all around and I didn't want to become the wrong kind of legend. Okay, as long as I didn't strip it wouldn't have mattered.

  • I didn't look as good in jeans as my nameless hero and couldn't measure up. Really, Clair you're how old? But body image issues are very pervasive.

I could go on with excuse after excuse but the bottom line is I WAS AFRAID to do something I really wanted to. Fear is the opposite of love and I don't want to be motivated by it anymore. There was a Black Horse calling my name and I didn't get on. And now I run. I aspire to run, dance, write and love without fear. I am working on it everyday. One race is over. A song has been sung. A hero made (and she doesn't even know it.) A year almost done. I contemplate my training plan for the next race and the next song. This time, I'll be ready. If you see me near a band, give me a nudge and a margarita and I'm all over it. You can even deny you know me and I won't hold it against you.

Who's your unsung hero?

Oh yeah. The race. 4:39:21. Happy. Recovered. Getting rid of many minutes for next time. No fear. Just going to do it.


ShutUpandRun said...

Oh you get on that black horse girl. You will get rid of many minutes. No fear.

Meg Runs said...

Ooo, this post hit me hard. Fear, fear, fear. Why does it pop up at random times and, yet, why is it somewhat predictable? If you can sing, sing! If you can dance, dance! Run, if you can run!! It's a heart thing. Thanks!
Love that song, never thought about it's meaning...

amy said...

you go, sister, get on that black horse and ride...

Running and living said...

Oh, fear! It is so powerful. I learned that I need to make sure I, not fear, is in charge most of the time. Otherwise, life can quicly become a safety bubble, predictable but oh so boring!