Monday, March 29, 2010

Your perinuem, Hemmingway, and WINNER ANNOUNCED

I said the P-word.

I was teaching a group exercise class at the YMCA a couple of weeks ago and decided to mix it up a bit.  I announced that the next hour was not for the faint of heart and that I was going to say the p-word.  Perineum.  Women need to strenghten theirs.  Men love have pressure applied to theirs and a strong one prevents kweefing.

According to wikipedia, the perieum is generally defined as the surface region in both males and females between the pubic symphsis and the coccyx.  There are muscles involved and the stronger the better for everyone in your life.  In Yoga that little area of utopia is called mula bandha and is considered a root source of power.  I remind the class of Kegal exercises - which, during labor and delivery class, we were told to practice in line at the grocery store and no one would know.  We talk about the pelvic floor and agree everything grows from a strong root so we should turn our attention to our perineum and stay aware of it during the whole class.  Strengthening, tightening our pelvic floors.  I can't beleive I didn't get fired.  I like to think I helped make the world a better place - less bladder control issues, more kegalling at the grocery, and strong roots at home.  I feel kind of like I saved the world.

What does this have to do with Ernest Hemmingway?  I read recently that his famous home in Key West has been added to a list of historic literary landmarks so I decided to dig a little into to his life and works.  I was not aware of the breadth and depth of despair his drinking caused nor did I have a grasp on his greatness.  His life, a fascinating tale.  His talent, almost unfathomably vast. 

 And then it occurred to him that he was going to die.  It came with a rush, not as a rush of water, nor of wind; but of a sudden evil-smelling emptiness, and the odd thing was that the hyena slipped lightly along the edge of it."  (The Snows of Kilimanjaro)

Put that root in your pipe and smoke it.  Don't shy away from the P-word or any other not-so-politically correct expression.  People could laugh like hyenas or you might win a Nobel prize.
Speaking of winners...

Anne, you did it!  You won a book, smudge, and jelly beans.  The odds were in your favor and I love you for it.  I love comments!  Send me your address and  your goodies are on their way.

Say something edgy.  Let me know how it goes.  Do your Kegals.  Out.


Char said...

I do my Kegals when sitting in the car at red lights. After 3 kids kegals are an important part of my life.

Anne said...

Yay me :) I won!!!


Anne said...

Thanks!!!!!!!!! :)

Go Babbs said...

I am accepting this blog post as evidence kegals really work... I am guessing I have just never done enough of them (consistently)? You'd think I'd remember to do more given the reminder I receive everytime I encounter something really funny!

ShutUpandRun said...

Well shit. I didn't win. But I already have some half used smudge, so I think I'm good for now. I never do kegels. Maybe I need to. Next time I am at a stoplight I will do them and roll down my window and yell at the guy next to me that I am strengthtening my vagina.