Am I Nell?
Did ANYONE besides me see the Harrison Ford/Jodie Foster movie, "Nell"? Quick set-up: Nell (Jodie) is some wild thing that got left in the woods to fend for herself in a scary deliverance- looking cabin. She is a survivor -(I like to think of myself as such) and grunts her way through life in complete solitude. In comes HF and tries to mainstream her. She learns to talk, finds her errogenous zones and I don't remember the rest except some hotel and escape. Sound familiar? Anyway, I ENTERED A CONTEST and I WANT YOU TO VOTE FOR ME. WTF? You muse.
So we were asked by Beth to submit a photo in our craziest running gear and explain (beg) why we need new digs and the coolest looking hydrator you ever did see. So here's my submission...
I need running clothes and gear so badly. I have been hiding in the woods my whole life. I am Nell. Harrison Ford tried to 'mainstream' me, enter me into regular society. After I learned to speak and not grunt the old craggy shit (sorry, Calista) holed me up in a no-tell motel. I was sure he wanted to get in my pants (again, sorry Calista). Knowing I like to dash through the woods he bought me running shoes and I gave up barefoot trailrunning. Here's me learning how to use my shoes.
The reason I need the gear is I'm tired of drinking out of shit-infested streams along the trails of my 20-mile daily workouts. I end up farting like a loon. A little purified creekwater would be nice.
For the record I'd rather wear camo to run but a little color would look nice on me. If I encounter Behr Gryls sometime out in my elements trying to survive I would like to get in his pants. I look great in blue and my arms are so buff the tank Beth is giving away is the perfect cut for my physique. Harrison, get a face lift and we'll talk. Thanks for teaching me how.
Starting April 13, Beth will post the finalists on her site and ask for votes. I am so conceited, I am assuming that I am a finalist. Actually, I'm taking a risk and assuming the best. Something I am really trying to get better at. HELP ME. After all - I put this shit on and went outside for my 6-year-old to take the the photo, my other daughter shook her head, and my son had a friend over spending the night. No wonder they don't want me to leave the house. Maybe I AM NELL.
What would you do for something free?