Friday, June 18, 2010

Fat dancers

I love to dance but am not built like a ballerina.  I should have been a pole dancer.  Here's me at 16...  I'm too fat to be a real ballerina so they cast me as Arabian coffee addict. ( Act II Divertissement:  Nutcracker). 

 If pole dancing were okay for virgins at a Catholic High School for girls I'd have been all over it.  Instead I spent years playing roles like the tart,  a man, the Princess Mother, a big-boobed member of the corps de ballet in most classic productions (Swan Lake, Waltz of the Flowers, La Bayadere, - you get the picture.)  Very occasionally I got a solo because I could move and the skinny dancers couldn't make the quick change.  I was trying so hard to be something I'm not:  Long and lithe.  But a dancer:  I am.  I'll never forget going to the soda machine for a drink during rehearsal one time (I know it's an oxymoron - like a nurse on a smoke break.) and the Director says:

"Clair, I hope that's diet." 
It wasn't.

Now, I wasn't grow-to-the-couch huge just curvy and as my beloved Mother would say "Earthy" and "Perfectly Proportioned"  (Whatever that means.)  I was not created for point shoes but tap shoes, that's a whole other story.  Instead of chasing my groove-on and the bass and the attitude which came naturally, I lurched for the tiara of the Sugar Plum Fairy - that sweet petite, airy creature who made people cry in a good way.  It was not to be.  She is not me.

Fast forward 25 years.  I run to keep my weight down and because I love The Race.  I teach exercise classes because I love The Performance and the wellness and the People.  I practice Yoga simply because I love The Life.  I dance every chance I get because I am.   

Hmmm..  I hear Pole Dancing is fun and big boobs are an asset instead of a liability. I think she's beautiful

 Be what you are.  Are you?


ShutUpandRun said...

Nice picture of me on the pole.

You will always be my favorite dancer. Screw the diet soda. That director was a dick.

Char said...

That's probably a comment that you'll never forget. My grade 5 teacher once weighed and measured us all for a maths exercise. When he saw my weight he said "Not as heavy as I thought" I wasn't even big! It's a comment I've never forgotten

Prairie Mother said...

I remember a photo of me taken during a cross country match in high school. Next to a skinny runner I looked like a brick shithouse! I don't have a runners build but I can hold my own. I practice yoga but I'm definitely not a super bendy yogi. hey, that's all okay cuz i'm happy with me just the way I am! Dance on girl! Luv the blog!

Anne said...

Erase that brainless comment from your are a beautiful and graceful woman! I read back a few posts (catching up) and I think there's a lot of great in you! :)