Saturday, February 6, 2010

My new thing and weight loss

Bikram makes me hot and wet

Sweat gushing out of every square millimeter of my body.  And buckets of it.  They call it 90 minutes of torture so you can live to be 90.  I'm sold.  Bikram Yoga.  I Love it.  Clair's got a new thing.  Don't roll your eyes.  For all you 'been-there-done-thats' allow me this account for posterity.  

So it's 20 degrees in Va. on a Tuesday night -my children are on their 4th snow day and I'm feeling all independent and motivated to go do something new all by myself - praise God (that's a shout out to the righties in our midst).  I brave the elements and escape the compound that usually feels like a home.  Plus Beth recommended it and edgy and cool are my new aspirations.  
I walk in and for brief moment I fantasized I was in LA. Plus everyone there looks fierce.  Like they'd growl if you were ALLOWED TO SPEAK in the Yoga room that's heated to 107 degrees.  The website says the less you wear the better and they're not kidding.  We're all lined up in three rows between two lines of tape all OCD'ish (which I kind of like).  You aren't supposed to leave the room for the full 90 minutes even if you need to sit out for some the poses because there's a natural air conditioner that trips on inside your body after a certain amount of time.  I think you have to be soaked with sweat and reach around 3,000 internal degrees but IT DID HAPPEN FOR ME so I GET IT.  Why did I like it so?
  • I get off on the mental focus required not to completely lose it.  I expect the panic feeling that kept knocking on the door of my personal space will subside over time.  I WILL HAVE ENOUGH AIR.  I WILL.  I WILL.  I WILL.
  • I love to sweat.  My body doesn't do it much and with this, buckets poured out of my body.
  • I like the freedom of being uninhibited.  There is no room for a big ego in that room.  Of course I wore lipstick (don't tell anybody) and wanted my hair to be all sassy and chose a cool work-out get-up for this.  But by the end I wish I had had only pasties and a thong on - only covering my essentials.  AND I DIDN'T CARE THAT MY ABS LOOK LIKE I'VE BIRTHED 3 BIG ASS BABIES.  Complete freedom.  Everyone else felt it too.  Lots of bare jiggly middles.  This is about survival, folks.  I still aspire for rock hard abs.  But for 90 minutes last Tuesday I was free from that and was just who I am NOW and it felt GOOD. 
Anyway, session two is today.  One thing I wasn't prepared for - and I am not even close to a prude - was the completely naked ladies in the locker room.  Of course you need to get down to nothin' to redress in dry clothes but some people brush their hair or talk on their cell phone or hold a conversation between strip and redress.   And, you - girl in the red thong - your stuff is all that, you are hot and gorgeous and you should be proud but could you bend over a little farther from my stuff?  Thanks.

My new weight loss technique...
All you dogs, keep your ass out of the pantry.
What's your new thing?


Anne said...

That sounds amazing in a strange way :)
I enjoy yoga, most of the time...but, unfortunately, I can't do humidity or too hot cause then I really can't breath(asthma). Too bad, cause that seems like a cool way to rid the body of toxins!

ShutUpandRun said...

17 followers??? Slow down, girl. Seems you are liking the Bikram more and more each day!Did you really wear lipstick? You crack me up. Maybe next time you should get extensions before class. If you go to Vegas, we could get tatoos. I'm just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

wow..sounds incredibly intense!

Danna said...

I did Bikram to train for a marathon I knew would be hot. It helped me learn how to push through it when I wanted to bolt!