Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Missing my mojo but I'm funny

Some days I'm all that and a bag of chips.  Good hair day.  Clever conversation.  Checking things off my mile-long to do list.  Life and I are open to each other like a flower petal blooming

(Shoutin' out to my Bikram homey's - Ardha Chandrasana)

Some days - like many lately - I've lost it.  No mojo.  Nothing charming or cool or captivating about me.  I am so not in my skin.  Everything is upside down.

The Urban Dictionary says mojo originally means a charm or a spell. But now its more commonly said meaning sex appeal or talent.  A head stand on a rug with dog hair takes talent, people.  Just like this clever email exchange.  (Hope you don't mind:  Jason and Beth)

Set up:  So I am going to this health and fitness writer's conference in Boulder later this month.  I know, wahh, 'poor me' right?!  Just so happens my soul sister, Beth from ShutUpandRun! is going too.  (Did I mention I've known her for 20 years and we both like wine.  Look out.)  Lots of cool bloggers with tons of mojo will be there - like Jason.  (I hope some of it rubs off on me.)  Yesterday the conference contact sent out an email about choosing free extra-cirriculars (all clean and legal) during the event.  Here's a snippet of that e-conversation:
Conference Guy:
This email is going out to the 75 people currently registered for the Fitness & Health Bloggers Conference running June 24-26 in Boulder, Colorado. We will send you a Pre-Conference Information Packet later this week via email with complete information about the conference. In the meantime, we would like to know whether you plan to participate in any or all of the following free events. All are activities you don't normally find at any conference and are great opportunities! Please hit Reply to this email and let me know if you wish to participate in any of these. All the events meet or take place at the Marriott. Some have limits but if you reply to us, you'll be registered unless we tell you it is already full. Significant others can participate IF we have room - please note that in your reply if you wish to have someone else attend an activity.
I wish to participate in:
__ Guided Hike (Friday 8:00 AM)
__ Kangoo Class (Saturday 7:00 AM) (shoe size______)
__ Yoga Class (Saturday 7:00 AM)
_ Newton Running Form Clinic (Sunday 7:00 AM) (shoe size______)
__ Ignite Fitness (Sunday during conference)
__ Martial Arts Fitness Class (Sunday 2:00 PM)
__ Guided Mountain Biking (Sunday 2:00 PM) (your height_______)

Kangoo Class? They teach us how to act like LL Cool J and say shiznit? I am so in for that one..... OK is was really Kangol but a guy can dream can't he?
On a more serious note are you guys interested in any of these classes? I was thinking the Newton one would be interesting as well as Yoga.

Damn I was hoping it had to do with learning to be a kangaroo - like jumping and holding babies in pouches and saying "good day mate." I'm thinking maybe yoga. I already went to the Newton thing, it's quite good though. Jason if you fart during yoga I will never forgive you. Where's the sit-on-your-ass-and-shoot-the-shit-with-friends class?

Oh there will be farting for sure. That I have no worries about.
So get this. I have a sticker on my car that says: I PEE on the bike.
So today I am driving and I get pulled over for doing 43 in a 30 (not the funny part) but as the officer approached me he says: 'so it says you pee on your bike. and do you?'
I respond: 'yes I do'
he says: 'well to each his own I guess'
I say: 'it saves me time on my competition and I will do anything within the rules to my advantage'
he says: 'do you clean your bike?'
I say: 'yes, I do'
We then discuss triathlon and the such and it was a funny conversation. He ends with 'keep cleaning that bike ok?'Still gave me a ticket. So the sticker draws attention but won't get you out of traffic violations.

I LOVE that story. Smiling reading it. I can just see him lifting his eyebrow, thinking "this dude is intense, pees on the bike." Imagine if the sticker was I CRAP on the bike. Real conversation starter.
If you had an SUAR sticker on there I'm pretty sure you would have gotten out of the ticket.

I am dragging my Virginia butt to Boulder I want to partay like a shiznit. I love LL Cool J I love wine, peeing in my saddle and grabbing my pouch when I hop. So as long as I am with my Beth I am happier than shiznit.

OMG.....I just snorted in this board meeting trying to contain my laughter.
Good this it was a snort and not out the other end.

I'm funny.  (At least Jason thinks so.)  No mojo but I can rock some emails. 
Are you funny?
Got any mojo?

1 comment:

Claire said...

I'm on day 14 of working out without a rest day...my mojo fell off the bike.

I'm sure you'll have a blast!!